how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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