no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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