If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
