i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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