I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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