If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
