I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
