it was like his penis was on wheels.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
