I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
