If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
