Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
