i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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