i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
4 words: hood of his car
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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