My balls are so social today.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
no you cant smoke seaweed
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
i believe in u and ur pee
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
