I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
