He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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