Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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