i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
