careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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