do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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