So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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