By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
