ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
