i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
