im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
