I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
