At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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