is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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