They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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