i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
it glows. i had to have it.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
