possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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