I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Boobs are out for the taking
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
