Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
