I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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