Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You had me at "let me see your balls"
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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