And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
