Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
