She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
