im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
there's paper in my vomit.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
