Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
