I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
false alarm. still invincible.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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