The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
