And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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