it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
