I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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