So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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