i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
