at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
