Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Drake has all the answers
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
