she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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