yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
