So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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